Narrative Plot

By May 2006, I had been dating Sean for a year, and I had been unhappy in the relationship for about 6 months of that time. The relationship had started simply enough when a friend of mine had suggested that “I just have some fun for the summer.” However, somehow I managed to become trapped into something that became much more serious than it was ever intended to be. I look back and wonder how or even why I would allow myself to become emotionally entangled in something that provided me with nothing that I desired. I like to think that at least I have grown since then, and that I learned something from the relationship.

I met Sean when my attempts to start dating one of his friends failed terribly. It was funny that he never even realized how I had felt about his friend. The relationship was probably doomed from the start, because we were both expecting different things. He was just sort of convenient, and the whole relationship developed out of what I had considered a friendship. I basically made a lot of concessions about what I wanted from a partner just so that I wouldn’t be alone.

As the relationship went on, it became clear that it was more and more about what Sean wanted while he was contributing very little. All it took for him to get his way was a whine, pout, or conflict. It seemed I was so afraid of being alone or making someone else unhappy that I was willing to give into whatever he wanted. I probably would have been happier going to the movies and restaurants alone and spending Saturday nights by myself. We really didn’t share any common interests and honestly he tended to bore me. I spent so much time trying to keep him happy that I gave up hobbies and interests that kept me happy, and I spent much less time on schoolwork. I lost sight of a lot of my priorities, because he was always there needing a friend. I think that from the very beginning I believed that I could help or change him, but the opposite ended up happening. Being involved with Sean resulted in me becoming a much less interesting and happy person. However, an outside opinion helped me realize I should end the relationship, and it allowed me to take lessons learned out of the relationship.

Friends and especially family members had been telling me for months that basically Sean was a total loser, and he added nothing to my life. I had found myself embarrassed to bring him to social functions or introduce him to friends. All of this basically resulted in me becoming much more isolated. After enough time, Sean was really my only friend left as I cut off communication with friends and avoided spending time with people other than Sean. Finally, an unlikely source came to me and basically told me I could find someone much better than my boyfriend. It was actually one of his friends, and he couldn’t just stand by and watch me put up with everything that I had for so long. He helped me realize that even if I was alone, it was an improvement over my life in my relationship with him. If I broke up with him, I could finally be happy being myself and doing the things that I wanted to do. He basically helped me and coached me through the whole break up process. Breaking up was extremely difficult and intimidating for me. I had never actually had to break up with someone before, and I really couldn’t see myself just cutting someone off. It basically took me 2 weeks from the initial decision and a lot of support from friends to be able to end the relationship. Looking back the whole thing seems pretty silly, but I thought that it was the end for me, and I couldn’t imagine my life without the comfort and continuity the relationship had provided me with for the past year.