Developing Character

When I met my boyfriend, Sean, I thought he was laidback, intelligent, funny, and just weird enough to be interesting. I started dating him, because I thought he was a lot like me. I always strive to keep things interesting, and I never like to openly admit that I am ever bored. My philosophy is that people allow themselves to be bored so I always try to make my own fun. I have always been comfortable spending time alone, and I am not threatened by silence in a room. It is interesting how people allow relationships to blind themselves from reality, and the differences that exist. I have come to realize a lot about myself since my break up with Sean, and I think I have made some changes for the better. Looking back now, I don’t think I saw the real person back then. I think I really saw what I thought I could mold Sean into. It was his unique personality that really attracted me to him. He was different than most of the people I have been friends with. However, a lot of what made him different also made him become someone I was sort of ashamed to share with family and friends.

I have never exactly been a social butterfly. I have always enjoyed having a tight knit group of friends rather than a lot of acquaintances. I would much rather stay in typically than go out to a bar or club, but I do enjoy spending time with small groups of friends. I have always considered myself shy, and I think that it has cost me opportunities and taken some enjoyment away from my life. That is why when I went off to college I decided that I would try to be a bit more outgoing. I have always surrounded myself with friends that are a bit more outgoing so that I am pushed into doing things I wouldn’t consider possible on my own. I think Sean was sort of similar in this regard. I basically met him when I started hanging out with a group of his friends from high school that I met while working at the campus recreation center. He was definitely a different person within the context of this group than he was during the majority of his time.

At first, I really wouldn’t have been attracted to him, and thinking back on it I really can’t see now what I found so appealing. He really hasn’t had much success in his life, and he’s not a particularly attractive or charismatic person. Perhaps I am biased in light of the break up, but now I think negatively about a lot of the thing I used to try to make excuses for. He failed out of his first year of college, and he has since been living at home with his parents. I didn’t want to be superficial when I first met him so I tried to see beyond his failures. I figure everyone should be given second chances, and I know that I have failed many times in my life. However, I now think it’s time for people to stop giving him chances. I try not to think that anyone is helpless or lazy, but I really think that other people have handicapped Sean. It has been five years since he moved home from college, and it doesn’t seem as if he is much further along than he was back then. He is still attending a junior college, and he has no idea what he wants to do with his life. I can understand lacking direction, but it seems as if he just doesn’t care about anything in his life. He totally lives off of his parents, and despite the fact, that he doesn’t care about school and doesn’t put much effort forth; he refuses to get even a part-time job. I believe that if his parents don’t take some action and start practicing tough love, he may still be living off of them and attending junior college when they start to think about retiring.